TW: Implied Self-Harm
I will admit that I have a problem.
I'm not sure what it's called really, and I can't find the term for it online, but basically every time I got into a bad argument with my hubs, I will start blaming myself a little bit, then feel victimized and needed to do something to hurt myself with to garner my hubs' attention so that he will feel sorry for me. I have tried once or twice by slapping myself so hard over and over again that my cheek was swollen, and another time when I punched at the wall till my knuckles were bruised just so he could take care of me.
It's prolly a mental disease, I know, and I might be a bit of a mental case, but it's something I struggle with almost everyday and I don't know why or what to do about it. Part of me feels it's because I grew up with an abusive mom that I needed to hurt myself in order to be heard, but I cannot be sure.
If anyone knows what kind of problem this is or if it has a name, feel free to comment and let me know.
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